Thursday, October 8, 2009


I've hit a couple of milestones recently: I'm applying for dual citizenship. I ran a marathon. I am completing my Master's degree. I got engaged. I'm starting a PhD. It's been a big year and it's only October.

All these things got me thinking about adulthood. I'm 32 years old yet I still feel like a child. I've never owned a new car. I rent a house. I play video games when I can sneak them in. I routinely sleep in, and whenever I get the chance I spend the day naked, wandering around my apartment.

What does it mean to be an adult? All of the traditional rites of passage have lost their significance. I moved out of home. I moved back when I was 27. I got a degree. I got another one. I got a full-time office job. I had business cards. I quit and got a job picking fruit. I got another job and more business cards. I got a credit card and looked at mortgages. I quit (again) and got a job in a kitchen. I got into debt. I got out of debt. I bought a car. I sold it for $100 on my way out of the country.

I still feel like I'm playing. It's like I cross bridges only to light a match and toss it over my shoulder, feeling the warmth of the flames on my back.

That said, I think I am starting to make the right moves. To make the smart choices. And it feels good. The things ahead of me, the things that are in the way of what I want out of life, are starting to look less like obstacles and more like items to tick off a to-do list.

Now if only I could beat Felix at a game of chess.